The photo below illustrates what the inside of my brain looks like in the morning before I've had coffee. It also illustrates what my kitchen looked like after learning the important lesson above:
Enter the French Canadians. Did you know that French Canadians are famous for their mad drywall and plastering skills? That's right: to exquisite smoked meat, Celine Dion, and cold winters, add ass-kicking skim-coaters. There is - apparently - a long, hearty tradition of French Canadians in this particular building trade. Let me tell you: a good skim coater is a magician. And after the Kilz shenanigans, I was ready to pay a magician.
This is Levi (pronounced Leh-VEE)
I made a complete ass of myself trying to speak french with Levi. Complete. Ass. The entire conversation went like this:
Me: [A simple sentence in French]
Levi: [A bunch of real French.]
Levi: [Says what he just said, but in English.]
[Repeat ad nauseum. ]
But now we have kitchen walls that actually look like normal, smooth kitchen walls that are ready to be painted!