September 9, 2009

French Canadian Skim-Coating Cabal

WARNING: Do not ever apply water-based primer (Kilz, etc.) over wallpaper before you have tried to remove said paper first by simply saturating it with water and using a scraper.  Why?  Because, dear reader, it is quite possible that the paper will BUBBLE UP LIKE A... would have come off with some water, and all the time you spent carefully applying said water-based primer will be a complete waste of time.  ALSO?  You will have sealed the rest of the surface, making the removal of the more stubborn areas of wall paper completely impossible.

The photo below illustrates what the inside of my brain looks like in the morning before I've had coffee.  It also illustrates what my kitchen looked like after learning the important lesson above:


Enter the French Canadians.  Did you know that French Canadians are famous for their mad drywall and plastering skills?  That's right: to exquisite smoked meat, Celine Dion, and cold winters, add ass-kicking skim-coaters.  There is - apparently - a long, hearty tradition of French Canadians in this particular building trade.  Let me tell you: a good skim coater is a magician.  And after the Kilz shenanigans, I was ready to pay a magician. 

This is Levi (pronounced Leh-VEE)

I made a complete ass of myself trying to speak french with Levi.  Complete.  Ass.  The entire conversation went like this:

Me: [A simple sentence in French]
Levi: [A bunch of real French.]
Me: Uh........
Levi: [Says what he just said, but in English.]
[Repeat ad nauseum. ]


But now we have kitchen walls that actually look like normal, smooth kitchen walls that are ready to be painted!

1 comment:

  1. Not to worry: Levi was speaking French-Canadian, not the French you learned in school. My favorite instance of this difference took place in the lobby of a very Qu├ębecois hotel in Montreal during the height of the separatist movement. A Parisien and a local man were trying to communicate, and finally lapsed into their common language, English!--Martha (who met you in Highland Hardware last week)

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