September 19, 2011

Dear Front Porch, I Want To Break Up With You.

I hate my front porch. From a distance? It looks okay. But upon closer inspection, it's like the poor country cousin to our gorgeous back porch. Oh sure! It may have been a fine front porch back in the day-o. But the bloom is off the rose, the bolts are out of the railing, and whole swaths of white paint are off the ceiling. Here's a tour of the front porch in all it's ghetto-y glory.
I have suspicions as to how the bolt ended up missing. But if I told you, I might be sued for libel.
I am so scared to pry off the plastic ceiling. So scared. Because I am guessing that whatever is underneath was covered for a reason. Possible (likely) reason: the ceiling is in very shitty condition. The thought of 'restoring' another round of bead board=crying and hand flailing. But the plastic has to go. Why? Because it is plastic, that's why.
And don't even get me started on that light.
The view through the glass panel is:

a. Cringe worthy
b. *(stunned silence)*
c. Rage inducing
d. A twice daily happening
e. Oh dear, what are those paper bags? Are those.......CAT BEDS? OMG.
f. All of the above
Maybe I can just glue the peeling paint back on?
Can't get rid of the 1960's era aluminum storm screen door fast enough. SWAT! Don't let it hit your ass on the way out!
Concrete steps are one thing. But broken crumbling patched concrete steps? 'Ghett' to the 'O'.

I hope you've enjoyed the tour. Don't you feel better about your front porch? We'll be here all winter folks! Don't forget to tip your bartender!

September 15, 2011


We had some cobblestones and stone dust left over from our back patio project. Hmmmmmm.....what to do, what to do........
We dug out a 15 foot section of the asphalt path that connects the sidewalk to our back gate. Eventually, we'll remove all the asphalt and install a nice fence and gate along our property line, but for now, we dug out the asphalt and disposed of it and lined the trench with weed blocking fabric. Then I laid out the curve of the garden bed (curves are good!) After marking out the curve, we laid down the cobblestones, filled the path with stone dust, and back filled the garden bed.
I love the different colors of the cobblestones. And it pleases me that stones from a Holyoke street are now in my garden.

September 8, 2011

The Green Strip Between the Street and the Sidewalk. What's That Called?

What's that strip of land between the street and the sidewalk called? A landing strip? A green-a-way? A pain in the ass? I can't remember. The point is, even though it's city property, it is a homeowners responsibility to keep it tidy. Which means I have to schlepp the electric lawn mower to the front of the house, bring a super long extension cord out the front door, and mow it. Eff you, landing strip.
That's a whole lot better. I sought out VERY drought tolerant, low-maintenance plants that are pleasant to look at and can thrive in partial sun. Here's what made the list. Your big basic green Hosta, Bugleweed, Heuchera ('Purple Palace'), small Hosta ('Green Mouse Ears') and orange geum. 
Bugleweed is known to spread, and that's actually TOTALLY fine with me. Over the next few years, as the bugleweed expands, I'll move matured plants to make room for it. A contained space like this is the ONLY place I would ever plant something like bugleweed. What have you done with your landing strip?

September 6, 2011

Thank You Door Sixteen

One of my favorite bloggers, Door Sixteen, recently posted a 'make a circle' tutorial. If she hadn't explained the steps? There is no. way. I *ever* would have figured it out.

I thought I would share my results. Perfection, right?

September 2, 2011

What Do Morgan's Like?

We continue to push the boundaries of Boston Terrier research here at Holyoke Home. Our careful scientific approach is, however, leading us to consider changing our dissertation title from 'What Do Morgan's Like?' to "What DON'T Morgan's Like?'